Book Spotlight: The Great Dick and the Dysfunctional Demon

A new book spotlight today for The Great Dick and the Dysfunctional Demon by Barry Maher. Enjoy.

The Great Dick and the Dysfunctional Demon by Barry Maher.

A wickedly funny dark humor horror novel that blends supernatural horror with a thrilling murder mystery.

 

“What a page turner! Witty, literate, scary, sexy, and powerfully evocative.”—Gayle Lynds, New York Times bestselling author

 

It’s 1982. Steve Witowski, a failed songwriter on the run from the law, finds himself caught in a supernatural thriller after an apparently innocent act of heroism—saving a woman from a vicious assault by a seemingly unstoppable wino. The woman, Victoria, is just part of a mystery Steve can’t unravel. Even as he’s looting the decomposing dead for the secrets of a self-proclaimed sorcerer. Even as he plummets into a nightmare of fire and blood and murder. Even then, Steve remains certain the sorcerer’s spells, the occult rituals—the supposed demons and supernatural horror—are simply delusion and fantasy. Steve is wrong.

 

Victoria, who has just bought a dilapidated church with a haunting past, entangles Steve in a deadly game of dark magic and rituals. As, unknown to him, the demon grows desperate, Steve plunges deeper into a world of crypts, grave robbing, and long-forgotten secrets, all while trying to escape his own haunted past. But when the face of the man Steve killed appears on his arm, the line between reality and nightmare begins to blur.

Book Link: https://geni.us/TheGreatDick

About the Author

Barry Maher is a product of four years at the University of Notre Dame, an hour and a half at the Graduate Journalism Program at U.C. Berkeley, and five befuddled weeks at Burger King’s Whopper College. In his misspent youth, his non-fiction appeared in perhaps a hundred different publications and, in order to eat, he held nearly that many different jobs. Sometimes he lived on the beach. Not in a house on the beach. On the beach. With the sand and the seagulls. 

 

After a sentence with a Fortune 100 company, he started speaking professionally. He told stories to audiences across the country and around the world: his client list a Who’s Who of multi-national corporations and large associations. Eventually, that led to the Slightly Off-Kilter syndicated newspaper column.

 

You may have seen Barry on The Today Show, CNN or CNBC and he’s been featured in publications ranging from The New York Times, USA Today and The Wall Street Journal to, his persona favorite, Funeral Service Insider.

 

On the downside, Barry’s also been incarcerated twice. Once for not making a left hand turn out of a left hand turn lane, and once for aiding and abetting a loiterer. He’s deeply repentant.

Website: www.barrymaher.com

Book Spotlight: Mark the Dwarf

Today, I have a book spotlight on the fantasy/sci-fi/ parody, Mark the Dwarf  by Jack Harvey. Enjoy!

Mark the Dwarf  by Jack Harvey

When Mark the dwarf goes bowling, he ends up on an enormous platform high up in the middle of nowhere. He has an encounter with some clowns from outer space, who propose a mission and a Faustian bargain for Mark for the purposes of an exchange of evil for good. With some misgivings, Mark accepts.

Mark the Dwarf is the odyssey of a dwarf through time, metamorphosis and space. After many adventures on and off the landscape of the everyday world, along with bizarre encounters with sly and dangerous aliens, Mark, refined and reborn in the crucible of his odyssey, returns to his place in the everyday world, stronger and looming larger in the terrain of his life.

Midgets and dwarfs! Clowns from outer space! Adventures with dangerous blondes! Plain and chocolate-covered writing! Linguistics, quantum physics, genetics, anthropology, animal husbandry! And there's more!

The book is directed towards those readers who have a passion for the written word and a tolerance for some more or less erudite clowning around with culture and language.

You can find Mark the Dwarf  on:

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Author Bio:

Regarding the author, this is his first novel. He has been writing poetry since he was sixteen (a lot of it now accessible on the internet) and lives in a small town near Albany, N.Y. He is retired from doing whatever he was doing before he retired. He once owned a cat that could whistle Sweet Adeline, use a knife and fork, and killed a postman.

Author's Amazon Page

#‎B2BCYCON Interview With Author M T McGuire

Over the next couple of months I will be doing a series of author features on this blog and on In the Spotlight (in fact you can check out the first feature interview here).

Now why am I doing this you ask?

Here’s why…

A great event for authors and readers alike is afoot in the virtual world. Coming this April, on the 8^th, 9^th and 10^th, is the Brain to Books Cyber Convention. Being held on Goodreads, with adjunct events on Facebook and elsewhere, it works much like a real world convention only online. With “author booths”, panels, readings, and more, it will be a fabulous gathering for all book lovers. You can find all the details and pertinent links for the groups here: http://www.angelabchrysler.com/brain-to-books-cyber-convention-2016/

Just be sure to join both Goodreads groups if you are an author. One is for convention preparations and information, and the other is the convention site itself.

Now on with the main event, our first Brain to Books author feature.

Today I have a great interview with humorous sci-fi author M T McGuire, so enjoy...

 Interview With M T McGuire

Why don’t you begin by sharing a little about yourself.

M T McGuire enjoys the real world but wouldn't want to live here full time. That's why she writes books. She grew up, or at least, got bigger, half way up a windy down in Sussex. Her home was also the first location choice for Hogwarts, in the Harry Potter films, so maybe it's not so strange that she's ended up writing spec-fic. Perhaps there's something in the water up there, apart from chalk. She used to do stand up but sat down and started to write books when she got married. She now lives in Bury St Edmunds, in Suffolk, with a McOther, a McMini and a selection of very silly cars. She hasn't found a way to make any of the cars fly, and none of them is fitted with ordnance like the ones in her books, but she and her team of evil scientists are working on that.

Despite being nearly 50 now, and supposedly, an adult, M T checks all unfamiliar wardrobes for a gateway to Narnia. She hasn't found one so far but she lives in hope.

Could you tell us a bit about your latest book?

My latest book, Escape From B-Movie Hell, is a standalone humorous science fiction novel about a female student who discovers that a) her best friend is a space lobster and b) that the human race is about to be wiped out in a meteor strike. The story is, basically, what happens next. Thinking about it, the blurb would probably help. Here it is.

If you asked Andi Turbot whether she had anything in common with Flash Gordon she’d say no, emphatically. Saving the world is for dynamic, go-ahead, leaders of men and while it would be nice to see a woman getting involved for a change, she believes she could be the least well equipped being in her Galaxy for the job.

Then her best friend, Eric, reveals that he is an extra terrestrial. He’s not just any ET either. He’s Gamalian: seven-foot, lobster-shaped and covered in marmite-scented goo. Just when Andi's getting used to that he tells her about the Apocalypse and really ruins her day.

The human race will perish unless Eric’s Gamalian superiors step in. Abducted and trapped on an alien ship, Andi must convince the Gamalians her world is worth saving. Or escape from their clutches and save it herself.

Why did you decide to write in the humorous science fiction/fantasy genre?

To be honest, I don’t really have a choice. I write what comes out and what comes out 99.9% of the time, is humorous science fiction fantasy. There’s also adventure, action and some clean romance in a couple of books.

If I tell you that the first book I attempted to write, when I was five, was called ‘Charles the Dragon Slayer’ that probably says it all. But I suppose it’s because I read to escape. I really don’t want to think about everyday life, I read to get away from all that so when I write I want to pimp reality to make it more interesting. Although, having said that, what I really, really like about writing humour is that you can get away with some quite hard-hitting stuff because it’s funny.

Who is your intended readership?

To quote Terry Pratchett, I write for, ‘anyone who is interested.’ I also write for me in the hope that if I like my books someone else will. So far, it’s definitely a mindset rather than an age range. My youngest fan was 9, he’s probably older now and he’d read all the Harry Potter books so he was probably pretty advanced. My oldest fan is in his 90s and there is a big mix of pretty much everyone in between.

So yes, I’m speaking to people with a certain outlook rather than a particular age range. I think that may be quite usual for humour books.

Are there particular challenges in writing for your core readership?

Yes. Trying to sell books to folks with a certain state of mind, rather than a rigidly delineated set of interests, or age band, or the like, is definitely an ... interesting challenge. I’m getting better at finding them and luckily some of them have braved signing up to my mailing list. At least now I can keep them informed on progress with my new books and if they enjoy my stuff some of them may even recommend it to their friends, which is handy. Also, on the whole, once I’ve persuaded someone to read one of my books (albeit at gun point most of the time) an insanely high number of them go on to read the rest.

What did you enjoy most about writing your book?

The one thing I’ve enjoyed writing more than anything else was not in a recent book but in the K’Barthan Series, books 1 and 2 especially, and that was the flying cars – snurds. I absolutely love cars and I have always wished mine would fly – so handy in traffic. So I wrote these amazing James Bond cars which could have dogfights and chases and... yeh... that was a LOT of fun. And baddies, I like a really, really bad baddie they are an absolute gas to write.

Can you tell us about your writing process? Where do your ideas originate? Do you have a certain writing routine?

The way it starts is usually a news story, or a factual book. I’ll read it and think, ‘that’s an interesting idea.’ The next thing I know there are characters and a scenario and a final scene. Then I just sit down and start writing about what they’re doing. It takes a little while for them to settle, usually, and for me to write myself in and then off we go. I love just seeing what happens next. Once I get to know the characters I learn what they will and won’t do, how they react to stuff, it feels more as if I’m a fly on the wall, watching them than that I’m orchestrating the whole thing. Although I know where the end point is I tend to let the characters sort out the logistics of getting there themselves. My theory is that so long as they act true to form, and they usually do, I should end up with an entertaining book.

Where this technique gets tricky is when you’re writing the fourth book of a series which is really one huge 600,000 word story. Because by that time, remembering who has done what and with what and to whom can be a bona-fide brain-fry. I wrote the last two books of the K’Barthan series in one go and I confess for most of that time it felt as if my brain was practically bleeding out through my eye sockets. I binned at least 70,000 words where I’d gone off on a tangent or which just didn’t work. If you take into account that my latest offering is 85,000 words or thereabouts it puts it all into perspective! So it takes me a long time to write a book. And for that reason, alone, I’m experimenting with the idea of having several on the go at once. I don’t think it will extend the completion time by that much but it might make it easier to pop one out every 6 months or every year, rather than taking 18 months each.

Do you have a favourite author, or writing inspiration?

Yes there are three main flows of inspiration on the author front, the really obvious ones are people like Adams, Pratchett a dash of Wodehouse and stylistically, Bryson. Those are the styles I aspire to and the Hitch Hikers’ Guide is the work my stuff is compared to most often (which is very flattering but also very scary). I love music, all sorts. Sometimes I’ll hear a piece and a scene will appear in my head so vividly that putting it in the book is a simple case of writing it up. I also love B-Movies and crap 1960s TV like the original Star Trek and the Men From U.N.C.L.E. and all that 60s UK stuff like the Prisoner, the Avengers, the Saint and Randal and Hopkirk (Deceased). I love films, Star Wars, obviously but also the James Bond films have a big bearing on my work. I love books like the Lord of the Rings and the Narnia series but I also draw a lot of inspiration from historical novels like The Children of The New Forest, the works of Dumas and other unexpected authors like Graham Greene, HE Bates, Neville Shute and even Dr Seuss.

How do you research your books?

McOther is a robot building engineer who has had inventions patented, in the past, and now works as a lawyer specifically to assist folks who invent stuff. These guys are mostly based around Cambridge University so they are often top of their game and as well as inventing stuff, themselves, they are massive geeks and always very switched on about what their contemporaries in other parts of the world are working on.

As a result a lot of the ‘science’ in my books, it’s very soft science fiction by the way, is just concepts McOther’s clients are talking about. For example, things like charging water so it’s positive or negative, 1 or 0, and using it as the mainframe as they do on the ship in Escape From B-Movie Hell is a concept McOther brought home in a ‘hey you’ll never guess what thingwot was telling me about today...’ kind of manner. So the science starts out stacking up, in theory, anyway, but it usually doesn’t by the time I’ve had a go at it! Phnark!

Are you working on another book?

Yes. At the moment I’m thinking about the cycle of civilisation. The human race has got smart and invented loads of amazing things like technology and what happens? The ‘Christian Right’ (there’s an oxymoron if ever I heard one) and ISIL? People who threaten to throw us back into the dark ages where science is denied and it’s better for a woman stay home and starve to death than go out to buy food without a male chaperone. How come we can get so clever but still can’t grow up? It’s like we have some built in self destruct button.

Then you read stories about people finding things in coal, metal bowls and the like. How do those get there? Coal is supposed to be millions of years old, so who put those in there before humans even evolved here? Had humanoid life already evolved and died out? Was Earth an outpost for folks from somewhere else and if it was where did they go? Is it that coal isn’t really that old could we have we got Carbon Dating totally and utterly wrong? Was there some inter-galactic travelling civilisation at some point? All that stuff about wars in heaven in the bible, did we have a sister planet where the asteroid belt is now, Atlantis, which was destroyed? Is civilisation a cycle of progress and destruction? Is the chronic shortage of interesting aliens in our galaxy because we’re the last life forms left after an apocalyptic inter-galactic war?

Then, up pops an idea and the current w.i.p. begins. Mwah hahahahargh! It’s provisionally entitled ‘Space Dustmen’.

I'd like to thank M T McGuire for stopping by today, and be sure to check out her virtual booth at the convention this April.

Book Spotlight: The Lights Went Out and Other Stories

Today I have a book spotlight, on the story collection, The Lights Went Out and Other Stories by Fiona Cooke Hogan, an eclectic mix of supernatural, humorous, poignant and eerie tales. I also have a tantalizing excerpt from one of the stories in the collection, The Welcoming Committee. Enjoy.

The Lights Went Out and Other Stories by Fiona Cooke Hogan 

An eclectic mix of flash fiction, short and longer stories. At times humorous, eerie and poignant; a mother burdened by financial troubles shares her problem with a stranger, a young couples' journey to the the airport takes a strange turn, a wedding anniversary in Dingle goes from bad to worse, a small dog is forced to change his ways and a vampire hiding out in suburbia just wants to be left alone. Dip your toes into this quirky collection and find your favourite.

You can find The Lights Went Out and Other Stories on Amazon

Story Excerpt:

The Welcoming Committee

There was no moon the night the vampire moved into the Close.  
As the Mercedes pulled into the driveway of Number Five a thick fog rolled down the street like a hungry wave. It poured across the tarmac, swirling and eddying about the walls of the slumbering houses before moving through the alleyways to cover swings and climbing frames. Under cover of the muted street lamps’ glare, a figure exited the driver’s side moving swiftly round the front of the car to the passenger’s door where an elongated form peeled itself from the seat and slipped out to join the shadows in the front doorway.  A rattle of keys and the hallway was illuminated briefly before the door was pulled shut and the house returned to darkness. The sedan slipped silently from the driveway, its blackened windows glinting like the eyes of a large beetle.
Well past the witching hour, the mock Tudor houses in the cul-de-sac sat silently, their inhabitants tucked up in their king sized beds. House alarms had been set and appliances switched off.  No dog barked. No cat slinked along the dividing walls of the properties. The fog held The Close in its grey laced fingers. All were under its spell. 
Save one, a curtain twitched at Number Seven, and a pair of eyes peeped out and watched as the strange and silent car moved into the drive way opposite. The curtain twitched again and then closed. A light went on in the bedroom. 

The new occupant of Number Five lay in his sarcophagus in the basement and brooded. The house disappointed him; it was just too…modern, a mere fifty years old. Where was the sense of history? He realised that he hadn’t given his people much time to organise the move. But really, a cul-de- sac? He sighed.  Circumstances beyond his control; a century long feud with his neighbours had escalated (a silly misunderstanding about drinking on their boundaries) had necessitated a swift leave of absence. A brief sojourn in the UK was deemed prudent (he had business to conclude) and his staff needed time to ready the New York house, where he hoped to pass out the next hundred years or so until it was safe to return to the family pile. 
He travelled from Budapest to Edinburgh by private jet where a car waited to bring him to a secluded hotel in the Highlands; the ancestral home of an old friend.  Hardly touched in over a hundred and fifty years, the building reminded him of better times when the world was younger. The staff were polite and discreet. He ordered take away and two working girls arrived from the nearest town. They left the next morning tired, pale and a few thousand pounds richer believing they had spent the night partying with a wealthy recluse. 
From Scotland he journeyed down the length of the country under the cover of night to this anonymous town and non descript house where he now resigned himself to quietly wait until it was time to travel across the Atlantic. 

Author Bio

Fiona Cooke Hogan is a Laois based writer and poet who hails from rural Ireland. This is her first collection of short stories; an eclectic mix of humorous, eerie and poignant tales. She has been writing since childhood and takes inspiration from her everyday life and experiences. Her novel "Martha's Cottage" will shortly be out on Kindle and she is currently working on her second: a horror story as yet untitled.
When not scribbling away she is an avid reader and self confessed addict of Tolkien, Game Of Thrones and The Walking Dead. She dreams of playing one of the undead in a George A Romero production.
Fiona designed the cover for her short stories herself using one of her own photographs; - a beautiful autumnal shot of the ivy covered entrance to a little hall near her family home in Meath, Ireland.

You can find out more about the author on:

Twitter

Facebook

Website

Drabble Wednesday: Festival of Drabbles

On today’s edition of Drabble Wednesday, I have another post for the Festival of Drabbles. So, I thought I’d revisit where Drabble Wednesday started, with the cyber adventures of Frankie and Joni. I have some new tales from our wacky duo, and you can also check out their first adventures here:  http://afstewartblog.blogspot.ca/2014/10/drabble-wednesday.html

I now present…

More Virtual Adventures with Frankie and Joni

HoliDaze

“It needs more mice.”

I paused in taking a bite of my sandwich and placed the sardine roll back on my plate. I took a breath and asked, “What are you blathering about, Frankie?”

“The holiday program. It needs more mice. In little red elf hats. Maybe singing carols. But definitely not baking.”

I sighed, controlling my exasperation. “Okay. Supposing we do need mice, and that’s not a given, why can’t they be baking?”

“Because of the poem.”

“Poem?”

“‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Not a mouse was stirring, remember.”

I face planted into the table, right next the sardines.

For the Birds

“Who shot the robin? Not I.”

“Shhh, they’ll hear you.” I nudged Frankie and peeked out from behind the virtual bushes. No sign of them. “What possessed you to arm a flock of robot chickadees?”

“Not I, said me. Programmed the wren, not the chickadee.”

“Then who—uh, oh.” I remembered.

“It was you! You shot the robin, uh, chickadee, whatever.” Frankie grinned. “You screwed up the program. You screwed up the program.”

“Shut up. I just downloaded a game on the same server. Maybe they got mixed together.”

“Oh, I get it. Now it’s angry and armed birds.”

“Exactly.”

Game Over

I stared at sparks flying off the shorted vid wall. Frankie shouted and cackled beside me.

“Hoo wheee! Pop goes the weasel, baby!” He laughed manically. “Fireworks!”

“That was the memory chip, wasn’t it?”

“Yep. And the hi-res holo function. So much for the new interactive Space Marines scenario.”

“Is there anything we can salvage? Or do we start over?”

“Hmmm. You know…”

“What?” Hope bloomed. “Did you think of a way to fix it?”

“Oh no. The game is toast. It’s just—well, this place would look better with puppets.”

It took everything I had not to smack him.

Puppets, or What?

“You’re telling me the puppets got up, and walked away?”

Frankie nodded his head with all the vigour of bartender shaking a martini. “They’re alive! Alive!”

“You’re crazy. Puppets just don’t—” I stopped talking, staring at the guilty look on Frankie’s face. An angry flush crept up the back of my neck. “What did you do to the puppets!”

“Well, I sort of implanted a robotics chip in them. I wanted to see them dance.”

“You… you...”

“But the weirdest thing isn’t that they left. It’s that they took my suit with them.”

Oh, I have to lie down.

© A. F. Stewart 2015 All Rights Reserved

And don't forget my book Passing Fancies, can be downloaded for free on Smashwords until the 15th: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/151594

Interview With Author Michael G. Munz

It's back to our regularly scheduled programming today, and I'm starting things out with a wonderful interview with Michael G. Munz, author of Zeus is Dead, A Shadow in the Flames, A Memory in the Black, and the upcoming book, A Dragon at the Gate. Enjoy...

Interview with Michael G. Munz

Why don’t you begin by telling us a little about yourself?

I’m a speculative fiction writer and proud geek from the tiny little town of Seattle, Washington. When I’m not writing, I can be found reading, gaming (primarily on a PC at the moment), and occasionally venturing out into the natural sunlight to bike or interact with my fellow human beings and the occasional llama. I’m also excited to say that I recently won a Bronze Medal for fantasy in the 2015 Readers’ Favorite Book Awards!

Of all the books you've written, do you have a favourite?

I’ve completed a total of four books, three of which are published, and of those four my favorite would have to be my comedic fantasy Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure. It was a blast to write, and an amazing challenge to try to plumb the comedic potential of Greek gods returning to our world while at the same time crafting an adventure story that holds together throughout the comedy.

You write in several genres. Do you have a favourite? And if so, why?

I write in sci-fi and fantasy, and my favorite at this point is fantasy. Both have massive potential for imagination, but fantasy seems to fit me more. There are generally fewer constraints, and with fantasy I don’t run the risk of a real-world technological advance making a story concept passé the way I might with science fiction. That’s not to say that I can’t still have fun writing science fiction, of course.

Who is your intended readership?

Geeks! And I use that term with pride. Being a sci-fi/fantasy writer, I’m a consumer of a lot of geek culture myself, and I think my own writing reflects that. It’s especially the case with Zeus Is Dead, as I lampooned, revered, referenced, and generally embraced a lot of geek culture in the narrative itself. Note that it is intended for adult geeks, or at least an audience mature enough to enjoy Douglas Adams’s works.

Why did you write Zeus Is Dead? What was your inspiration?

I’ve been fascinated with Greek and Roman mythology since I was a little boy. One of my favorite books to read (right after Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mr. Fox) was a collection of myths. That interest carried through high school and even a few college courses. By then I’d realized that the Greek pantheon itself was full to bursting with a myriad of characters, all with very human passions, vices, strengths, and weaknesses. I wanted to use them in a myth of my own, and somewhere along the way the idea struck me that a juxtaposition of mythological characters in the modern day could be mined for hilarity, and then it just developed from there.

What did you enjoy most about writing your book?

Zeus Is Dead was the first humorous book I’ve written. For the first time I was able to embrace all the little side jokes that my brain always makes when I write—things I previously had to mostly ignore due to writing a more serious work. (Sometimes I managed to work some of that humor in anyway, via a comment made by a character with a sense of humor, but most of it had to be squelched in order to maintain the proper tone.) With Zeus Is Dead, I just let it spill onto the page. Some of it was lost in the editing process—as it should be—but not having to hold back felt very liberating.

When did you realize you wanted to be a writer?

I had that particular epiphany when I was nineteen during the summer after my freshman year of college. I was staying at my parents’ place, which was on the south end of a big island here in Washington State’s Puget Sound, and about an hour and a ferry ride away from anyone I knew. As a result, I was feeling pretty isolated and depressed. (I should mention that it wasn’t some sort of Harry Potter-esque forced-to-live-in-a-closet sort of thing. My parents are great, and even if they had forced me to live in a closet, I’m sure it would have been a very comfortable one. I was just having trouble dealing with being away from everyone that I’d gotten know that year.) Reading was one of my refuges against my late-teen/early-adult angst. I vividly remember lying on my bed eating popcorn while in the middle of reading Terry Brooks’s Elfstones of Shannara for the first time. When I took a moment to reflect on how much I was enjoying it, I had this watershed moment and realized how fulfilling it would be to give others the same enjoyment via my own writing the way Brooks’s writing was giving me.

I’m pretty sure it had nothing at all to do with the popcorn.

Are you working on another book?

I am! I’m doing my best to finish up the third and final book in my science fiction/cyberpunk series. Following A Shadow in the Flames (book one) and A Memory in the Black (book two), it’s tentatively titled A Dragon at the Gate. I’d hoped to have it ready for publication by this December, but it’s taking a longer than I’d planned to tie things up in a satisfactory fashion. I hope to have it completed by late winter 2016.

What’s your next project? Any upcoming book secrets you care to reveal?

After A Dragon at the Gate, I’m going back to the world of Zeus Is Dead. I don’t want to reveal too much just now, but it’s entirely possible that the title of that book will be Zeus Is Undead. Will there be zombies? It’s highly likely.

Author Bio:

An award-winning writer of speculative fiction, Michael G. Munz enjoys writing tales that combine the futuristic or fantastic with the modern world and human themes. His driving desire is to craft entertaining stories that give to others the same pleasure that other writers have given to him. Among his influences are the writings of Dan Simmons, Terry Brooks, and Douglas Adams. Michael dwells in Seattle where he continues his quest to write the most entertaining novel known to humankind and find a really fantastic clam linguini. Find out more about him at michaelgmunz.com.

Zeus Is Dead

THE GODS ARE BACK. DID YOU MYTH THEM?

You probably saw the press conference. Nine months ago, Zeus’s murder catapulted the Greek gods back into our world. Now they revel in their new temples, casinos, and media empires—well, all except Apollo. A compulsive overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone that he receives from rapacious mortals turns each of his days into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help sarcastic TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer-geek named Leif—two mortals who hold the key to Zeus’s resurrection. (Well, probably. Prophecies are tricky buggers.)

Soon an overflowing inbox will be the least of Apollo’s troubles. Whoever murdered Zeus will certainly kill again to prevent his return, and avoiding them would be far easier if Apollo could possibly figure out who they are. Even worse, the muse is starting to get cranky.

Discover a world where reality TV heroes slay actual monsters and the gods have their own Twitter feeds: Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure!

Bronze Medalist: 2015 Readers' Favorite Book Awards

Finalist: 2015 Independent Author Network Book of the Year Awards

Zeus Is Dead is available at Amazon

Drabble Wednesday: The Family

Today’s Drabble Wednesday brings another short fiction series, something I call The Family…

And any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. And if these characters resemble your family you have my sympathies.

Cry Havoc

Grandpa always asked the same question before he got into an argument with Grandma. He rolled out the words, “Should my havoc fly?” And that was the signal for the havoc to fly, but it was Grandma’s havoc, while Grandpa generally ended up apologising or sleeping in the doghouse with Goofy, their St. Bernard.

That’s why I made it a point to avoid any “havoc” in my personal relationships, lest I inherited Grandpa’s technique instead of Grandma’s. Until Bob. That man just asked for the havoc, so I gave it to him. With both barrels.

I hope he likes it out in the doghouse.

A Different Thanksgiving Tradition

We can't find Grandpa's teeth.

They went missing during Thanksgiving dinner, after we served the pumpkin pie.  Poor Grandpa, he should have known better than to get between Uncle Jim and Cousin Sam when they started fighting over that last piece of pie.

Before you could spit, the annual Thanksgiving free-for-all began and Grandpa was on the bottom of the pile.  When everyone came up for air, the teeth were missing.  We searched, but couldn't find a trace of his wooden choppers. 

I just hope the dog hasn't run off and buried them again.

Aunt Agatha’s Gift

“Nooooooooooo!”

I fling the offending package, silently cursing the postal system that brought me this abomination. My eyes still smart from the gaudy assault of crimson, gold and burnt orange hues that jumped out when I opened the box from its prison of paper.

Why must Aunt Agatha torment me so? Doesn't she understand I want no part of her crazy pastime?

But there it is, another hideous result sprawled over my floor, waiting to be stuffed in the closet with the others. I sigh and pick up the hand-knitted wool sweater.

Oh, no, there’s grinning kittens on the front.

Start the Game

A man in a stained trench coat delivered the strange message.

“You must find the Pork Pie.”

Then he handed me the clue and left me standing there, unhappy. I hoped I would never be pulled into Grandma’s crazy game, yet, here I was holding the bag, so to speak.

I open the clue.  It read: Find the Pork Pie where guests go to rest. To discover the name find Serenity’s creator. Seek the cold storage.

I sighed. “Grandma you got to get a better hobby.”

I pulled out my cell phone and called Jeremy; I would need some help.

Jeremy Wears a Hat

He arrived my doorstep wearing a pork pie hat. Sometimes my new boyfriend is an idiot.

“Jeremy, I’m not looking for a hat, take that silly thing off.”

“What? I’m just getting into the theme.” But he took off the hat.

“I figured out most of this silly clue.” I showed him the paper. “Guests go to rest at a hotel and I think the name thing is part of Granny’s sci-fi obsession. Cold storage we’ll figure out later.”  I pulled him back out the door. “It’s a ten minute drive, come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“The Whedon Hotel.”

The Whedon Hotel

“Let's throw her in the pond and see if she sinks.”

Before I could protest, two drunken fools tossed me into the ornamental pond. Well, I didn’t sink (mostly because I can swim), but I got wet, and those nuts each got a black eye. I sloshed back to the hotel and bummed a towel off a maid. While I was drying my hair Jeremy rushed over, excited.

“I found it, I found it! Hey, what happened to you?”

“Never mind. You found what?”

“The Holy Grail, of course!”

“What the Pork Pie? It’s here?”

“Yep. Seen it with my own eyes.”

“What are we waiting for, show me.”

The Picnic

There were enough pickles for everyone.

And potato salad, coleslaw, macaroni salad, grilled hot dogs, lemonade and strawberry shortcake waiting on the side table, and enough bread rolls to choke a horse. What a spread! Maybe the trouble my crazy Grandma put me through for this family picnic would be worth it. The last thing we put on the table was the main attraction, the two oversized pork pies Grandma stashed in the freezer at the Whedon Hotel.

“Let them in Jeremy, it’s ready.”

He threw open the doors and the annual family reunion started with a whoop from Grandma.

Beware of Old Sayings

Grandpa’s a wise man, ripe with the benefits of experience. Many times he’s said:  ‘Beware the armadillos of March’, ‘Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day’, ‘Teach him how to fish and he'll drown in the lake’, ‘Better to light a candle than to curse the priest’, and ‘Never send a Chihuahua to do a man's job’.

That may seem strange, but considering how Cousin Bud got trampled, that Uncle Winston died his first time fishing and that church incident, it makes sense to the family. Plus, the less said about Aunt Agatha’s Chihuahua the better.

Mom Knows Best

Mother always warned me.

So did Uncle Dan, Aunt Agatha and Grandpa.  But I kept wondering, every year.

I mused about it through the April rain, drinking Aunt Agatha’s special Sangria at the family barbeque, swimming at the lake.

I tried to put it out of my mind, but it lurked there, creeping back with the first touch of frost, with the initial snowflake falling down to touch my nose. Then, this December, there was “the cinnamon incident”.  It called to me and I had to lick it.

And Mother was right, your tongue will stick to icicles in winter.

Of Farce and Fantasy: A Review of Magnus Opum

My Book Review of Magnus Opum by Jonathan Gould:

Magnus Opum by Jonathan Gould is whimsical fantasy novel, that trips along the path fantastic. It takes a quiet approach to its storytelling, but also regales the reader with a frothy sprinkling of satire and wit.

The book begins with an unlikely hero, Magnus Mandalora, an unassuming character from Lower Kertoob. An unexpected event turns his life askew and sends him off into the world. He embarks on a spy mission of sorts, finds friends and unlikely allies, and uncovers enemies, danger and escapades galore.

The narrative style follows the traditional epic quest, but folds in an absurdist quality, balancing the plot on a decidedly quirky edge. The characters are both amusing and appealing, and carry the reader blithely along on the adventure. On the surface the story portrays itself as a conventional, if fanciful, fantasy, with a touch of light farce, but by its end has flipped a few fantasy traditions on their head.

I enjoyed reading this book very much with its clever turn of phrase and endearing characters. It never renders too much idiosyncrasy, or becomes overburdened with cuteness. It strikes a perfect balance of odd and sincere and I give it an enthusiastic recommend.


The book is available from Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Magnus-Opum-ebook/dp/B007QGNO1I

A Slightly Crazy Memoir: A Book Review of In My Mind’s Eye

My Review of In My Mind’s Eye by Justin Marciano:


In My Mind’s Eye by Justin Marciano is an irreverent, tongue-in-cheek memoir that is amusing, emotional, while at the same time might make you flinch and wonder at the folly of people.

The book is a collection of anecdotes culled from the author’s rather disordered childhood, reminisces of his family and his boyhood/teenage tomfoolery. It is a wonderful hodgepodge of dysfunctional family dynamic and dodgy shenanigans that somehow comes across as congenial and affectionate, despite the eyebrow-raising antics depicted.

The author’s style is informal, irreverent at times and very engaging. The book bounces through random and pivotal events in his life, using comparison stories and flashbacks to interrupt the narrative flow, but still manages to weave it all together into an entertaining delight. The narrative does get a bit maze-like at times, lacking a little in the where and when department of the events described, but if you go with the flow it’s a great read.

I wholly recommend In My Mind’s Eye.


In My Mind’s Eye available on:  Smashwords and Amazon.

Madcap Fun: A Review of Doodling by Jonathan Gould

My Book Review of Doodling:

Doodling by Jonathan Gould is absurd, quirky, breezy, fun and a total delight to read. It is also a witty little metaphor for today’s social climate, without being preachy or heavy-handed. The book makes some subtle observations while maintaining its air of entertainment.

The book begins with Neville Lansdowne falling off the world. Literally. After the shock wears off he sets out exploring a nearby asteroid field, and finds out he’s not the only one who fell. From there his adventures just commence.

The premise of Doodling is unusual, surreal and not the least bit scientific, but from the moment you begin reading, the book enchants with its style. It weaves an alluring charm with its eccentric farce that amuses and captivates. Odd characters and fantastic situations abound, flit through your imagination with verve, before settling around you in a warm, clever cosiness. I couldn’t help but imagine this book as a wonderful animated film.

Doodling is a thoroughly pleasing book and I highly recommend it.

Amazon Link:  http://www.amazon.com/Doodling-ebook/dp/B004KSQVCO/
Smashwords Link: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/41101?ref=scribe77