Here’s the Christmas Eve edition of Drabble Wednesday, with three holiday stories full of wacky Christmas cheer…
Santa Got Pulled Over By A Policeman
A red and white blur sped past the cop in the parked cruiser. The officer plunked his Tim Horton’s coffee in the cup holder, flicked on the lights and sirens, and gave chase to the speeder. Within minutes, he had the offender pulled over.
“You know you were going 70 in a 50 kilometre zone, right?”
“Ho, ho, ho!”
“Plus, I’ll have to write you a citation for operating, uh, a sleigh without a valid license.”
“Ho, ho, ho! Oh no!”
"And I’m going to have to give that—that reindeer with the red nose a breathalyser test.”
Jingles the reindeer found the crumpled corpse under the Christmas tree, missing a hand. He pawed the body, but it was too late.
“Why? Why? Who would do this awful thing to the Elf on the Shelf?”
“A great disturbance, I sense.”
A tiny wizened green creature appeared from beneath the holiday foliage. In his hands he carried the Elf’s missing appendage and a shiny cylindrical object. He stared at the deceased Elf.
“Teaching him, I was. Listen, he did not. Defeated not the enemy, failed did he.”
A laugh rang out. “He underestimated the power of the dark side.”
The Magic of Gifting
I nudged the wrapped gift with my toe, half expecting something to pop out. You might think that’s paranoid, but after the gerbil incident I don’t trust strange presents left on my doorstep. Especially when they’re packaged in snowman paper and topped with frilly pink bows. I thought about leaving it, but that might endanger the neighbourhood.
I lifted it gingerly by the gaudy bow, carried it indoors and opened it carefully, the fire extinguisher handy. I gasped. Inside lay a hideous rubber chicken.
He wouldn't. Not the Fiendish Chicken of Severus Snape.
Drat Harry Potter and his Christmas pranks.
Unfortunately, no one entered last week’s contest to win a free book,
so I have no winners to announce.